sobering stuff
By the the most conservative estimate, each year one million women suffer nonfatal violence by an intimate. (Bureau of Justice Statistics from a 1995 special report)
Other estimates (American Psychological Association) say as many as four million women experience a serious assault by an intimate partner each year.
Nearly one in three adult women experience at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood. (American Psychological Association)
28% of all violence against women is perpetrated by intimates (Bureau of Justice Statistics)
Domestic violence is statistically consistent across racial and ethnic boundaries (Bureau of Justice Statistics)
Women ages 19-29 reported more violence by intimates than any other age group. Women aged 46 and older are least likely to be battered by an intimate. Seventy percent of intimate homicide victims are female. (Bureau of Justice Statistics)
In a 1990 restraining order study, the age of abusers ranged from 17-70, two thirds of the abusers were between the ages 24 and 40 (Buzawa and Buzawa ed.)
Male perpetrators are 4 times more likely to use lethal violence than females. (FL Governor's Task Force on Domestic Violence, 1997)
Domestic violence occurs within same-sex relationships with the same statistical frequency as in hetero relationships (American Bar Association Journal, 1998)
During the six months following an episode of domestic violence, 32% of battered women are victimized again. (Bureau of Justice)
47% of men who beat their wives do so at least 3 times per year (AMA Diagnostic and Treatment Guidelines on domestic violence)
Each year, an estimated 3.3 million children are exposed to violence by family members against their mothers or female caretakers (Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family, 1996)
In homes where partner abuse occurs, children are 1,500 times more likely to be abused (Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Assistance)
40-60% of men who abuse women also abuse children (American Psychl. Ass'n)
Fathers who batter mothers are 2 times more likely to seek sole physical custody of their children than are non-violent fathers. (American Psychl. Ass'n)
27% of domestic homicide victims are children, 90% are under the age of 10, 56% are under the age of 2. (FL Governor's Task Force)
There is more, much more, sickeningly more. I've read a couple of blogs lately that referenced a physically abusive situation, even more about psychological abuse. And yesterday I received an email from someone in a desperate situation.
So, here is what we're going to do. I've asked for some volunteers who would be willing to help, listen, refer anyone who is being victimized by a husband, boyfriend, father, doesn't matter who. Even if it's just listening and offering encouragement or strength. Victims are often in denial and it might be easier to talk to someone who is not a part of a person's everyday life. Victims tend to stay victims and it's easy to tell someone to leave but it isn't that easy. Many women don't see any way out. Women get killed for leaving.
I have an open door anytime. I am a safe place. Others may be more restricted in what they can offer but I guarantee you Rick, Brian (who said yes to my email in about 5 minutes), Ed, Shane, good men all, fine men......will reach out, they already do. I'm throwing them out there and haven't even given them time to respond yet, that's how sure of them I am.
Certainly help need not come from just the male persuasion and should you want to add your name to the list that would be welcomed but sometimes a woman needs to be reminded that there are men who DON'T FUCKING HIT WOMEN AND CHILDREN.
It is wrong.
Always.
Never acceptable, never.
No matter what you do, it is never "Deserved". Ever.
He is NOT going to stop. They almost never do.
What you deserve, is better.
I know some of our fantasies, even our experiences, have a rough edge sometimes. This is different. It doesn't feel good, ever.
There are safe places, safe people. No reason it can't start here.
Just sayin'.
My email is here, Brian's (audience of one) is on his blog, so is Ed's and Rick's. I'll wait to hear from Shane, not sure how long he is going to be gone. I'm thinkin' not long.
Use them, anonymity and discretion assured. I promise. One person gets away or gets help, it's all worthwhile.
Other estimates (American Psychological Association) say as many as four million women experience a serious assault by an intimate partner each year.
Nearly one in three adult women experience at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood. (American Psychological Association)
28% of all violence against women is perpetrated by intimates (Bureau of Justice Statistics)
Domestic violence is statistically consistent across racial and ethnic boundaries (Bureau of Justice Statistics)
Women ages 19-29 reported more violence by intimates than any other age group. Women aged 46 and older are least likely to be battered by an intimate. Seventy percent of intimate homicide victims are female. (Bureau of Justice Statistics)
In a 1990 restraining order study, the age of abusers ranged from 17-70, two thirds of the abusers were between the ages 24 and 40 (Buzawa and Buzawa ed.)
Male perpetrators are 4 times more likely to use lethal violence than females. (FL Governor's Task Force on Domestic Violence, 1997)
Domestic violence occurs within same-sex relationships with the same statistical frequency as in hetero relationships (American Bar Association Journal, 1998)
During the six months following an episode of domestic violence, 32% of battered women are victimized again. (Bureau of Justice)
47% of men who beat their wives do so at least 3 times per year (AMA Diagnostic and Treatment Guidelines on domestic violence)
Each year, an estimated 3.3 million children are exposed to violence by family members against their mothers or female caretakers (Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family, 1996)
In homes where partner abuse occurs, children are 1,500 times more likely to be abused (Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Assistance)
40-60% of men who abuse women also abuse children (American Psychl. Ass'n)
Fathers who batter mothers are 2 times more likely to seek sole physical custody of their children than are non-violent fathers. (American Psychl. Ass'n)
27% of domestic homicide victims are children, 90% are under the age of 10, 56% are under the age of 2. (FL Governor's Task Force)
There is more, much more, sickeningly more. I've read a couple of blogs lately that referenced a physically abusive situation, even more about psychological abuse. And yesterday I received an email from someone in a desperate situation.
So, here is what we're going to do. I've asked for some volunteers who would be willing to help, listen, refer anyone who is being victimized by a husband, boyfriend, father, doesn't matter who. Even if it's just listening and offering encouragement or strength. Victims are often in denial and it might be easier to talk to someone who is not a part of a person's everyday life. Victims tend to stay victims and it's easy to tell someone to leave but it isn't that easy. Many women don't see any way out. Women get killed for leaving.
I have an open door anytime. I am a safe place. Others may be more restricted in what they can offer but I guarantee you Rick, Brian (who said yes to my email in about 5 minutes), Ed, Shane, good men all, fine men......will reach out, they already do. I'm throwing them out there and haven't even given them time to respond yet, that's how sure of them I am.
Certainly help need not come from just the male persuasion and should you want to add your name to the list that would be welcomed but sometimes a woman needs to be reminded that there are men who DON'T FUCKING HIT WOMEN AND CHILDREN.
It is wrong.
Always.
Never acceptable, never.
No matter what you do, it is never "Deserved". Ever.
He is NOT going to stop. They almost never do.
What you deserve, is better.
I know some of our fantasies, even our experiences, have a rough edge sometimes. This is different. It doesn't feel good, ever.
There are safe places, safe people. No reason it can't start here.
Just sayin'.
My email is here, Brian's (audience of one) is on his blog, so is Ed's and Rick's. I'll wait to hear from Shane, not sure how long he is going to be gone. I'm thinkin' not long.
Use them, anonymity and discretion assured. I promise. One person gets away or gets help, it's all worthwhile.
posted by Edge | 9:36 AM
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