Our house.....is a very, very, very fine house

Things to do today.
Buy another house. Now I have two, one more than I would prefer, or that I need. All these choices, where to sleep, where to have my mail sent........where to set the trash out. House 1 is being shown this afternoon as I close on house 2. I think it would be just about perfect if house 1 sold at precisely the same time I was buying house 2. I should be so lucky. My realtor who is very hot and very married thinks my house shows better with my stuff in it than it will empty. But I don't think it will sell by Thanksgiving and I'm moving completely in that weekend no matter what. I hate this move stress stuff but it should only be a month of hell and then all will be smooth again. I like smooth. I suppose after closing I'll stop and get a bottle of something and stop by and use my new garage door opener and toast my new home, just sit down on the floor and lean up against a wall and reflect and quietly ask myself wtf brought this on when I was content with the status quo. Oh wait, I'm never content with the status quo. Hey it's friday and I have a totally free weekend and I have a new house and I can be as decadent and wicked and illbehaved as I want to be. I have a house for sale if anyone is interested.