Four

Sunday was one of those early spring days that tease you into thinking the change of season is a done deal and that the dreary drabness of winter has been left behind for good. It hasn't of course, far from it, but you take the good when and where you can get it and I'll take teased over disappointed any day. I very much liked that I had a place where I could sit unseen, my deck being private and at wood's edge, my own little acre of nature preserve. Actually not mine but trees don't look any different when you don't own them and you can't deed a view. I listened to the beginning of spring and thought about how many memories are associated with the sound of birds and nature, my mind wandering from mornings in the woods to how every beach I've ever been on sounds when you close your eyes and let the sun and warmth soak into your body. I spent the day in a similar reverie often returning to thoughts of the night before, both parts but more and more the second. Twice I saw Lauren, once when they left in mid afternoon and again early evening, smoking pensively, obviously anxious about the fading security of the weekend. I wondered at the dymanics of her household these days knowing what it's like to have to bury dark secrets deep within. While the secret stuff resides in the back of the mind it's felt in the pit of the stomach. Even the good secrets live there; they're just a different color.

By Monday I was back into the work week routine and had almost forgotten that she was going to call until I was on my way home. Being that it was Monday I supposed that she would have a recent contact to tell me about. I also wondered if she was savy enough to not give away the fact that she was going to be home alone for a couple of days. I knew she wouldn't come out and tell him but he might sense her fear if she came across as weak. I had asked a lot of her to be defiant at the same time she was going to be spending the night alone in the house. I needed to know more about to what lengths this asshole would go to satisfy whatever it was he was looking to satisfy. I had a hunch it was as much about control as it was about sex but then sometimes it's difficult to tell the difference.

I don't like talking on the cell phone, so when she called mid evening I had her call me back on the land line. I had no idea if caller ID was an issue for her but I didn't see her husband as the type to second guess her. Like I said, he wasn't arrogant, more like, why would you want someone other than me confident. Telephone anonymity has all but disappeared much to the chagrin of adulterers and obscene phone callers. It gets harder every day to get away with anything. I picked a good era to practice good behaviour.

Quick hello's and to keep as much awkward out of it as possible I immediately said "You hear from him?"

"Yes, email, and then IM. He's not happy with me. I told him I was sick, had been all weekend. Told him no. He said, you don't tell me no."

"But he let it go? Threatened and blustered and then let it go?"

"Yes, I was scared to death. Sometimes he tries to be smooth, asks me if I miss him. He dropped the smooth pretty quickly when I said I felt terrible. I didn't know if......."

"Not much else he could do. I thought he was going to act out I wouldn't have told you to resist. I don't think he's done with you so he won't give up til he gets what it is he wants. I'd just like to know what he wants".

You think he.......?"

"I have no idea Lauren. It says something, this hiding stuff, through windows and lurking behind you secretly in public. But I don't know what he's capable of and until I get a read on that I don't know what the options are, what buttons to push."

"I've thought about this constantly for the last two days, hell, I've thought about it constantly ever since it started, but after I talked to you, I mean, I've thought about why and how this........"

"You need to figure out those things for yourself, I understand the need for that kind of self analysis, but not for me. It doesn't matter to me, why, or how. The things I ask you won't be for any other reason than to learn what it takes to get you out of this. You're dealing with guilt and shame but keep it from me, we don't need it here, it serves no purpose whatsoever. Trust me, you couldn't possibly shock me or show me anything I haven't seen before. Everyone is human Lauren, and humans have weaknesses and fallibilities. Sex, food, drugs, alcohol, money, gambling, vanity, you name it. Most of us have at least one and some of us are fucked up in multiples. I suspect you have fewer than most. Personally, I'm suspicious of those who don't appear to admit to any, plus they make lousy company. We clear?"

There was silence on the line for longer than a beat, an intake of breath, then a resigned sigh that I'm sure was accompanied by a slight shrug of the shoulders, then a straightening of spine taking the shoulders back into the posture a woman assumes when she says or means "fine". Rarely is it.

"You don't waste many words", she said.

"I try not to waste much of anything but I do tend to squander time. Something I have less of than I would like".

I thought of our difference in age and I was convinced it was a factor in choosing me over another neighbor or another friend. She would have to be very close to a coworker to confide her indescretion there. No way could she have approached anyone else in the neighborhood, her family wouldn't have been an option. Clergyman? Don't think so. If I had been a younger single I doubt she would have given me a second thought. Given her state of mind and overall feelings about the male of the species about now I would have been closer to the enemy than the solution. I had given serious thought to suggesting a private investigator but couldn't get it straight in my mind how that could bring about the closure she had to have here. This wasn't something you made better, or improved, it was all bad or all good. Temporary won't cut it, has to be permanent. The bastard has to go away forever. I just had to figure out how to get him gone.

"Let's start at the beginning. I need to hear the logistics, what he's tapped into, computer, email and whether it's a private account, cell phone, home phone, work, whatever. I know he knows where you live and I doubt you coughed that up so I need to know how deep into your personal stuff he is and how he got there. Remember, we're past why, but there was an original connection and then it went from there. Give me facts and I'll ask questions as we go. I need the perspective of a timeline too. How much of your correspondence still exists?



"All of it. Well, all of the electronic stuff, emails, no, not all of it, some IM's, recent ones because I thought they might be....important, I'm not sure to whom. Believe me I hate that this stuff still exists, you don't know how many times I've just wanted to go in and delete it all, but I know the law and as much as I hate having it, I have the threats.......I have everything. It's safe, for now, Craig doesn't touch my laptop. For such a successful business man he is woefully computer illiterate. He has someone who does all that stuff for him. He sells, they keep track."

She told me the story. Twice I went to my freezer and freshened my drink. It wasn't straight vodka, there was ice. Games on the computer, real games, the innocent fun ones, Literati, bridge for god's sake, who the fuck under 60 plays bridge? And then poker. Different crowds, poker and bridge. Different like a dog show and a dog fight. Fun and teasing and winning and then flirting, passing the time, belonging. You see it, people get hundreds of games under their belts, they get rated, they've got cutesey anonymous names. Some games you can chat while you play. Pretty harmless but if there are just the two of you playing, it can get flirtatious and what's it hurt, they aren't real and it's not really you. I interrupted when I needed more detail but it was pretty simple and straightforward, he seduced her before she knew it. It got real, who are you, not name real but life real. When she sent him a photo, just a candid shot, nothing particularly alluring, just this young fresh pretty girl smiling, when she sent that, the hook was set. He had her. Even at that point, at that innocent level, he had her. She would have been terrified at her husband learning even that. Another week of harmless play and elevating flirtation and she was in way over her head. There were two more photos that week. The first one was of her in a bikini, taken by her husband on a beach in Hawaii. He had heaped praise on her after the first innocent portrait, now he escalated his compliments, they became tinged with a friendly lasciviousness, still in the midst of playing some word game, friendly competition. But the games were being played later at night now when her husband was out of town and when his initial teasing and urging and complimenting resulted in the self portrait, tasteful she said, bare breasted and her face shadowed beyond recognition, when she sent that one, she had the fucker cocked and loaded and it was soon after that that word games took on a different tone. Same thing happens every day, everywhere with varying results, nearly all no more harmful than exposing a chink in a less than ideal relationship, or more like exposing that no relationship can meet our ideals. Some last minutes, some hours, others months and some break up relationships and marriages and that has nothing to do with the medium, the faultlines were already there waiting for something to be poured down the cracks. Cyberworld is the new dance club but you don't have to dress as nice, you don't need ID, and it never closes.

She had no idea how he found out who she was and I'm not sure how important that was other than I had to find him out. He was playing cocky so that probably wouldn't be very difficult. Then all I had to do was figure out how to own the fuck like he owned her, turn it back on him. I already knew his weakness, I just had to exploit it.

His behaviour changed dramatically after the topless photo. At first she thought he was teasing, but he wasn't. His compliments turned to demands, urging became controlling. The change was startling and sudden. Panic set in and he smelled it, escalated his demands. When I asked for details here her voice trailed off, the words came more difficult for her.

"What are you drinking?" she asked.

"Vodka martini without the vermouth. My first one, you don't let it get empty you never get to the second."

"Fix me one and unlock the slider, I need to see your face when I tell you the rest, make sure you aren't rolling your eyes".

I took a glass from the cabinet and tried to decide if I was glad her husband was out of town or wished that he wasn't.