In all honesty

Everybody's talkin' bout it. What are your thoughts on total honesty and full disclosure Edge, I hear you asking. You might not have said it outloud but I did hear you. We've visited this before you're saying and we never get anywhere, we just spew and go back to relationship strife. Most of us anyway. To anyone not suffering from this malaise I heartily congratulate you. I see you over the corner sitting by yourself shaking your head at the rest of us. Seriously, it must be nice, maybe you could send us the recipe for success. My experience with cooking relationships is that I either undercook them or burn them to a crisp. Maybe I should have preheated the oven, I always skip that step. Food for thought, eh?

I feel like I've written this post before so let's open another door, OK?

Back to the subjects, total honesty and full disclosure. Not to be disparaging to those of you of the fairer sex, but if I had a buck for every time I hear a woman say.....I have to have honesty most of all, that's what I want most..........I would have a lot of bucks. It's not that men desire honesty any less, they just don't bring it up as often, it being a subject that often creates discomfort for them there under the collar. I've said it here before, careful what you ask for. I personally think total honesty is a bullshit platitude. If someone gave you total honesty you'd toss them inside a month. Same with full disclosure. That's even more of a joke than total honesty.

OK, we've established that, or rather I have. Maybe you don't like that tenet, maybe you think it may be just a little too honest? Sugar coat it Edge, make it all better, lie to me and tell me it's the 11th Commandment, thou shalt tell the fucking truth all the time.

No can do, sorry. Man I hate posts like this. When I can't get to the point. Let me give it a try.

I tell my husband/wife/bf/gf/pet/mom...........that I flirt online, that I have a crush on someone, that I engage in prurient emailing and instant messaging. That when I went out with the girls/guys I engaged in some light petting, dirty dancing, or I did their hair. See? I am all about total honesty and full disclosure.

Aint you special.

But do you tell them with who, give them the details, when and how. When someone tells you something they do, or have done, it is much easier to accept if you just relegate it to the past and don't try to relate it to real time.

Honey, sometimes I let myself lose a little too much control with someone but it's you I love and it's harmless and there, now you know everything and I feel so much better and thank you for loving me even with my weaknesses.

But wouldn't total honesty and full disclosure be saying something like......Damn baby, last night while you were playing in the badminton tournament I got online and ended up in this naughty little chat room and some guy named daddystud got me to.....um....touch myself.

You like it?

Hell yeah.

Gonna do it again?

Made plans to hook up with him as soon as you go to work tomorrow and I think he's gonna call me, teach me about phone sex.

Full disclosure. You really want it? Total honesty. How much, how little? The truth? You ready for it?

So most of us pick and choose information and it's delivery format to put us in the best light and we probe some to see how much we can disclose and still have it all be ok and test where the comfort zone rubs up against the danger line , and it's different with different people, we poke at it and feel it, watch for reaction.

Or just hide everydamnthing and not take the chance.

Maybe, just maybe, in all our woebegotten human frailty and love of sin, maybe, and I'm going for the hook here in case you wondered..............if we were totally honest with ourselves we might say..........I 'm far more concerned with your honesty than my own.

I personally have a low threshold of fidelity. Hey shoot me, what can I say, I'm in touch with my inner slut. Touch hell, I have my fingers wrapped around him and am strok.......sorry, that's another post.

It's a struggle, huh?

I truly believe I trust just about everyone who comes here. I've told many of you that I do. I sense who I can and can't trust. But I always have myself protected and I accept that I get what you decide to tell me and it's not that what you tell me isn't honest, not that at all. And it's not just with you, it permeates my personal relationships as well. It's that I think, and again accept with open eyes.........that there is more there than you show me. Because you are alive and needing and wanting and curious and not near as strong as you make yourself out to be and have fear of the truth sometimes.

Just.......like..........me.

Seriously, I'm being totally honest here.