I might not be fixed but I'm not broke no more

"Take up your china doll
it's only fractured -
and just a little nervous
from the fall"...................Grateful Dead.....China Doll

I needed to get back here.

I needed to be reminded that it's better for me when I'm here than when I'm not.

I needed to make someone happy.

I needed flydoll's joy and to swell with pride at her post.

I needed to make someone feel beautiful.

I needed to show that I can be gentle and patient.

I needed to allow myself to be angry at someone I was afraid to be angry with.

Then I needed to let it go.

I needed my daily dose of sassology (more about her later). She always knows.

I needed that conversation that was almost too difficult to have.

I needed to realize my hurt was self induced.

And that my behavior was self destructive.

I needed that photo.

I needed to be reminded that warmth is as important to me as heat.

I need for you to trust me.

I needed for that lurker to emerge from the shadows.

I needed to think about sitting on your deck with you in less than two weeks.

I needed to show you I want you to see this part of my life, because it's important, and so are you.

I needed to feel this strong again.

I needed to remember that I gain strength from making my own decisions and not letting them get made for me.

I needed to be reminded how much I suck at following.

I needed to hear from that person that I thought was gone.

I needed the brattiness and fun in the comment box yesterday.

I needed to stand naked in the dark in that incredible storm last night and feel the fear.

I need for you to be ok today.

Because I am.

And I need to let myself remember the good.