Desperately seeking Charkey

I'm spent, like last week's paycheck. Burnt like a fourth of July sparkler. But I was burning bright there for awhile, huh? I've lost my top end and I don't do well without it. I'm drinking too much, even smoking some cigarettes, and I sleep half awake. I'm losing weight from skipping meals. The summer is half over and I haven't done shit. I spend too much time here and on messenger. I've lost myself along the way and don't care much for what I see in the mirror. Don't worry, I do this, like a comet streaking and fading. I'm prone to it. I flash and crash.

I feel weak and I abhor that. Loathe it. I'm a chest pounder, not a head hanger.

My first year anniversary here is coming up, I'll be back for that. I'll be reading and sometimes commenting, I can't go cold turkey ya know. But no messenger and no obsessive clicking and staring.

To those of you I have ignored lately, I'm sorry. You are special to me and I turned my back on you. You deserve better.

I'm going to recharge, refresh, and rejuvenate. I'm going to go look for myself, I think I know where to find me.

I'm good, I just need a vacation.

Oh, and to show you how out of kilter I've been? I've been going out on most of you. I have another blog with very graphic content. I thought I needed to keep you from knowing this side of me, protect you from it. Like I'm something I'm not. You don't need protecting. To be entered at at your own risk. But you decide, not me. Who the fuck I think I am hiding from you and pretending to be something I'm not? You want the link, email me.

I love you.