Julia Roberts gets nasty
I've had company most of the weekend and it's been an in and out open house kind of thing and I've cycled a few movies, usually not anyone sitting there watching, just background for whatever catches someones eye at any given moment. No kids around so I've not had to worry about adult content. I don't like Julia Roberts movies, not because I don't like her and I remember how hot she was in Pretty Woman even though that was still a chick flick, huh, a hooker chick flick, whodathunkit, anyway, not cause I don't like her but I don't typically like the kinds of movies she's in. I have a Hugh Grant phobia, I break out. I think it's the cheesy smile that raises the rash although he did earn a few points with me for soliciting a blow job in Hollywood but quickly lost them when I realized he had Elizabeth Hurley back home waiting for him. Way to go Elizabeth, dump the cheesy fuck.
So anyway, I once again struggle to get to the semblance of a point, but one of the movies that has been cycling on my HD surround sound system (and showing it off has nothing to do with it, I'm all about being an entertaining host) has been Closer. Is that Closer with a z or Closer with an s, I don't really know, who cares. And not only do you get to see Natalie Portman dancing nearly naked which is worth the rental fee alone, Julia talks nasty. Cool. Tells her dufus boyfriend that she has just fucked her lover over there on that couch or whatever it is and this idiot insists on the details so she gives them to him in all candor, even describing the difference in how he tastes and how many times she came and how. Very cool. You slut Julia, I love you when you're like this. Kinda like Reese Witherspoon who is all cutsie now for the most part, thanks to all the pinkness of the Legally Blonde crap. I want to see her play a slut. Like Alicia Silverstone in some movie I saw on cable a few months ago where she was a bad girl and talking dirty and showing her body off. Like her, like that. I want Clueless with bare breasts. Like when Julia Roberts gets nasty. Drew Barrymore, she can go both ways, she did some Doppleganger movie years ago, holy shit, hot. But then she can do the 50 First Dates sweet stuff too. I like her better when she's a dirty girl. But that's just me. A nearly naked Natalie Portman is so much more intruiging to me than when she is following her mother around in some movie too.
If I was a Hollywood mogul I would make chick flicks with gratuitous nudity, full frontal, nasty talk and sit back and rake the money in as men would have new reason to take their women to the cineplex and buy popcorn and mild duds and instead of cuddling the guys could slap their women on the ass on the way out of the theater and say....god I loved it when the Olsen twins got topless, which one is it that doesn't eat? Oh, wait, that would be my son saying that while wondering how soon Hilary Duff could doff her top in a full length feature.
If I made movies there would be really dirty words in The Notebook and that Message in a Bottle would have been pornographic. And lots of nudity. It's just as easy to love and sob naked as it is fully dressed.
Honey, I wanna see that new nastychickflick, the remake, you know, When Harry Spanked Sally. The one where not only your eyes get wet. That one.
I just showed this to some friends and I have to go because they're wanting to read my blog. We're gonna go watch movies instead. Oh, and drink some more. I'm trying to figure out how to loop the Julia Roberts scene for later so I don't have to have one hand on the remote. I get confused about which hand is supposed to be doing what. Last night I hit mute by mistake and stopped moaning.
Oh, and I have the one with Nicole Kidman where she thinks a 10 year old boy is her reincarnated husband. I had that fantasy when I was 10 but it was about Marilyn Monroe. I would sit on her lap and she would sing the score from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes to me while nuzzling my little head between her breasts. By 12 I was out of control and she was naked and begging me for more. Calling me her big boy.
It worked, they don't want to read it anymore.
So anyway, I once again struggle to get to the semblance of a point, but one of the movies that has been cycling on my HD surround sound system (and showing it off has nothing to do with it, I'm all about being an entertaining host) has been Closer. Is that Closer with a z or Closer with an s, I don't really know, who cares. And not only do you get to see Natalie Portman dancing nearly naked which is worth the rental fee alone, Julia talks nasty. Cool. Tells her dufus boyfriend that she has just fucked her lover over there on that couch or whatever it is and this idiot insists on the details so she gives them to him in all candor, even describing the difference in how he tastes and how many times she came and how. Very cool. You slut Julia, I love you when you're like this. Kinda like Reese Witherspoon who is all cutsie now for the most part, thanks to all the pinkness of the Legally Blonde crap. I want to see her play a slut. Like Alicia Silverstone in some movie I saw on cable a few months ago where she was a bad girl and talking dirty and showing her body off. Like her, like that. I want Clueless with bare breasts. Like when Julia Roberts gets nasty. Drew Barrymore, she can go both ways, she did some Doppleganger movie years ago, holy shit, hot. But then she can do the 50 First Dates sweet stuff too. I like her better when she's a dirty girl. But that's just me. A nearly naked Natalie Portman is so much more intruiging to me than when she is following her mother around in some movie too.
If I was a Hollywood mogul I would make chick flicks with gratuitous nudity, full frontal, nasty talk and sit back and rake the money in as men would have new reason to take their women to the cineplex and buy popcorn and mild duds and instead of cuddling the guys could slap their women on the ass on the way out of the theater and say....god I loved it when the Olsen twins got topless, which one is it that doesn't eat? Oh, wait, that would be my son saying that while wondering how soon Hilary Duff could doff her top in a full length feature.
If I made movies there would be really dirty words in The Notebook and that Message in a Bottle would have been pornographic. And lots of nudity. It's just as easy to love and sob naked as it is fully dressed.
Honey, I wanna see that new nastychickflick, the remake, you know, When Harry Spanked Sally. The one where not only your eyes get wet. That one.
I just showed this to some friends and I have to go because they're wanting to read my blog. We're gonna go watch movies instead. Oh, and drink some more. I'm trying to figure out how to loop the Julia Roberts scene for later so I don't have to have one hand on the remote. I get confused about which hand is supposed to be doing what. Last night I hit mute by mistake and stopped moaning.
Oh, and I have the one with Nicole Kidman where she thinks a 10 year old boy is her reincarnated husband. I had that fantasy when I was 10 but it was about Marilyn Monroe. I would sit on her lap and she would sing the score from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes to me while nuzzling my little head between her breasts. By 12 I was out of control and she was naked and begging me for more. Calling me her big boy.
It worked, they don't want to read it anymore.
posted by Edge | 1:23 PM
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