Getting to later
First she had him unplug the cable box so she couldn't see what time it was when she woke in the middle of the night as she so often did. Those damn bright yellowish numbers that screamed out 2:12 or 3:17, not like the clock face that felt more like a little after two or a little before three.
2:13 now, like that, impossible not to stare and then open your eyes to look again, see how much time has passed. I don't want it to pass she said, I want it to just be now. Later, after she couldn't see time, she had him unplug the ticking bedside clock so she couldn't hear it.
He could never hold her close enough for either of them, it was like she was trying to climb inside him and he was trying to let her. It had been so long since he'd slept with anyone he didn't even mind when his arm or leg was pinned and uncomfortable, it just served as confirmation she was there. Together they had found their now and he promised her he would show her later wasn't something to be afraid of. He couldn't unhaunt her past but he could hold her shakes until they crawled back to where they came from, love her back to now.
Time doesn't count in bed she'd say. It stops, we don't get any older or sick and there isn't room for anything to get between us. But it has to be completely dark, so dark we can barely see each other. She said she wanted to go to that place where it stays dark for six months, that would be such a long, long now. And when he'd ask her what about eating she'd say no, you eat lots before you go to bed like a bear and live off the fat, plus your metabolism slows way down. Can you have sex he asked? Oh yes, sex, lots of sex she said, you have to have lots of that. So you don't get bed sores and to prevent muscle atrophy, preferably in lots of different positions so all the muscle groups get exercised.
In that kind of darkness, with that kind of closeness, he could feel her words as much as he could hear them, feel them against his chest with his chin resting on the top of her head. She raised her head the way she did when she was going to ask a question, said, would it be OK if we shut the door? Afraid someone's gonna come in he asked.
No, just want to make sure nothing can get out. He didn't think she could see him in the dark but she watched anyway and was right there waiting when he got back. I locked it he said. She pulled the comforter up over our heads and he could feel her say, I knew you would.
2:13 now, like that, impossible not to stare and then open your eyes to look again, see how much time has passed. I don't want it to pass she said, I want it to just be now. Later, after she couldn't see time, she had him unplug the ticking bedside clock so she couldn't hear it.
He could never hold her close enough for either of them, it was like she was trying to climb inside him and he was trying to let her. It had been so long since he'd slept with anyone he didn't even mind when his arm or leg was pinned and uncomfortable, it just served as confirmation she was there. Together they had found their now and he promised her he would show her later wasn't something to be afraid of. He couldn't unhaunt her past but he could hold her shakes until they crawled back to where they came from, love her back to now.
Time doesn't count in bed she'd say. It stops, we don't get any older or sick and there isn't room for anything to get between us. But it has to be completely dark, so dark we can barely see each other. She said she wanted to go to that place where it stays dark for six months, that would be such a long, long now. And when he'd ask her what about eating she'd say no, you eat lots before you go to bed like a bear and live off the fat, plus your metabolism slows way down. Can you have sex he asked? Oh yes, sex, lots of sex she said, you have to have lots of that. So you don't get bed sores and to prevent muscle atrophy, preferably in lots of different positions so all the muscle groups get exercised.
In that kind of darkness, with that kind of closeness, he could feel her words as much as he could hear them, feel them against his chest with his chin resting on the top of her head. She raised her head the way she did when she was going to ask a question, said, would it be OK if we shut the door? Afraid someone's gonna come in he asked.
No, just want to make sure nothing can get out. He didn't think she could see him in the dark but she watched anyway and was right there waiting when he got back. I locked it he said. She pulled the comforter up over our heads and he could feel her say, I knew you would.
posted by Edge | 7:29 AM
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