Dazed and Confused

Muddled, disoriented and hugely stressed. Thoughts of what in the hell have I wrought? I grossly underestimated this move, the suddenness of it, the lack of planning. Thankfully it's only two miles away so all the back and forth, twenty plus trips, hasn't been so bad. I really didn't pack. Just carried stuff from one place to another, clothes from one closet to another. I'm never an emotional mess like this. Friday the movers came and moved all the big stuff; thank god I hired that part done. The rest is daunting enough especially since I'm too stubborn to ask anyone to help. I remembered why the last move was so easy. It was eight months post divorce and I didn't have anything. But it's all gonna be fine, just unsettled for awhile. I have no counter tops, no kitchen sink, until next monday. That is severely limiting relative to doing much of anything in the kitchen. Sometime in the next two or three weeks the hardwood floors go in and new blinds/shades, window cover things. I don't want to live in a house that someone else decided how it was gonna look. Nope, I hafta drop a bunch of bucks to make it me, make it what I want. But hey, it's my house, I can do what I want. Friday night was a guys night out with dinner and the Pacer game with some old work cronies and it was very strange to head to the new house and sleep there for the first time. Even stranger to wake up there. But it's good, I like it and it has more room, just enough room. And the hot tub was exquisite last night and you can hear the brook babble from the deck and I got one of those do you want some company calls last night just as I was towelling dry from the tub soaking so it only took three nights to break the place in right. Have you ever wished you liked someone just a little bit more or just a little bit less? Poor girl, I'd hate to count on me for anything. She has my sympathy.

No computer at home yet, that happens today hopefully, so I was having blog withdrawals and it was like coming home to get back and visit everyone again. I'm not the only one who feels that way I see. I've only been doing this since late August but it seems so much longer. I like it, alot, I mean alot. It's important, it is, I truly believe that. I like you people, you deserve to be liked, loved, paid attention to. Sometimes I think it even borders on need. There is nothing wrong with need. I'm very much looking forward to spending the next year with all of you. You're important and good and worthy and talented, you really are. And oh so sexy, so very sexy.