What didn't kill me keeps me alive

The blood work I put off until the doc held my prescriptions hostage came back this week and now I have to add one more drug to the list of pharmaceuticals required to keep me alive and kicking. I find it ironic that it was to some extent drugs that got me into this mess in the first place and now it's drugs that are helping me to survive it. Those felt better but these are in all probability better for me. Those were fun and expensive and these are just expensive. But living is fun and you have to take your highs where you can get them. If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself. I wouldn't advise anyone to do what I did but I doubt I would do much differently given a chance to do it again. I'm prone to poor lifestyle choices and I nearly paid the ultimate price for it. I live healthier now than I ever have and when I asked the good doctor why is it I never even get a cold, let alone the flu, he mumbled something about most airborne illnesses being afraid to come near for fear of catching something from me that's lying dormant just waiting to attack. Not sure that was a compliment. I told him I truly believed I could will myself well when I felt anything coming on and he said there is something to not letting yourself get sick; that the connection between mental attitude and physical illness is dramatically underestimated. He asked me if I was depressed after I survived my serious illness 6 years ago and I said no I would have been extremely depressed had I not survived it though. He said my attitude at the time was probably the single most important factor in my survival (other than the rebuilt heart of course). I didn't tell him I have such a good attitude because of my fond memories of all the drugs I did when I was younger. Seemed not worth mentioning.

So the nurse calls and says I have to take this new med at bedtime and I asked how come at bedtime and she says because the side effect is a flushing of the face and that way no one will see it. Thanks for the vote of confidence I tell her and she said she assumed even if someone was there it would be dark. I didn't tell her how much I like to watch with the lights on but I did ask her if there were any other side effects, fearing the dreaded erectile dysfunction one, and she said just the headaches. Fuck. Whatever happened to fun drugs.

I don't have anything enlightening or important to say today and as a matter of fact am a touch brain dead from having to use it so much this week. It was out of shape, my brain was. The subject of meeting other bloggers is on my mind, prominently on my mind thanks to you , you know who you are, and I have seen reference to in person, face to face, up close and personal meetings in several postings and comments lately. Perhaps we could dialogue the subject. I find it rather fascinating and have my own list of bloggers I would like to meet. I would have to meet you early in the day or evening due to the face flushing though. But my attitude would be excellent and we could always pretend I was blushing if it got late.