Yesterday's Post

That title sounds like I'm talking about the newspaper. Well, this can be today's Gazette or tomorrow's Tribune or the Plain Dealer, that one kind of fits and I like it, Plain Dealer. Good blog title except I imagine you would get considerable Google traffic.

But putting my ADD aside and back to yesterday. The Honesty post sparked a couple of other posts, this one by Ed, and this one by Maddy. A couple of different viewpoints, both very candid and thoughtful and worth your time to peruse.

I don't get a lot of email traffic other than from those I correspond with on some regular basis but I got one yesterday, regarding the post, from one of you in the periphery, and by that I mean someone who has recently arrived here and is relatively new to the madness and wonder that is us. How about I share?

Edge. I'm new to reading you and I have spent some time in your archives since coming here and I notice you reveal very little of yourself. That is you have opinions on the details of many of these other peoples lives but don't say much about your own other than some occasional description of some general activity. Is it honesty you are afraid of? What is it that keeps you from showing yourself?

Fair enough, and I don't mean to show this person up or infer that I'm offended by these questions, I'm not at all. You are welcome here and I'm open to anyone's comments or questions.

First of all, let me agree with you on the point that I do not reveal the intimate details of my personal life. However, if I did, I think you would be disappointed because there really aren't that many. Many months ago I made some references to my current dating experiences and I think they ended with my stating that there was someone that I was seeing that I wished I thought a little bit more of or a little bit less of so I would make some kind of decision as to having any future with her. We chose the latter. As good as it looked on paper there were empty places where more life should have been for it to be something lasting. Around that time was one of my last posts referring to an intimate act with someone (fucking for those of you whom are here for the sex ).

That was around Thanksgiving if I remember correctly and you think I would given the dearth of sexual activity since. But I do sometimes confuse fantasy and reality so forgive me for my lack of a timeline. It may be in the archives under hot tub sex (except this time I was actually with someone, there may be multiple references).

OK Edge you say, that's all fine and certainly most revealing but that was a long time ago and I know you have needs so spill dude. The intimate details of my actual experiences since wouldn't amount to a spill, more like leakage, reduced to a drip at times, downright dry at others. So here goes. About two months ago I attended the wedding of a good friend's daughter. I'm not afraid of going anywhere stag but a wedding is one function that it is deemed less than appropriate. Plus I knew I would hear loser whispered behind my back as I sluiced my way to the open bar. I don't like having my feelings hurt so I set about to garner female companionship for the evening. Did you do something simple and invite a friend or someone you had casually dated previously Edge? Oh, no, that would have lacked the controversy and complexity for which I am narrowly known. I had recently received a phone call from the newly seperated (um...6 or 8 months I think) wife of a former co worker. I was not particularly friendly with this man and had stepped on his fingers on the corporate ladder once and had met his wife about three times at social functions and we had conversed and perhaps subconsciously batted our eyes at each other. This guy is up for prick of the year so what little moral compunction I have failed to prevent me from ringing her up and saying, hey, wanna go to a wedding with me? I see little controversy in that Edge you say, I think you're being melodramatic here, what's the big deal? If you'll shup up a minute I'll tell you. My friend, whose daughter was getting married, is also a former coworker at a large Midwestern division of an internationally reknowned corporation where I used to toil. Many of the wedding guests were well aware that on my arm was the still leagally betrothed wife of a current coworker of theirs. Not that big a deal but it was a rather festive affair with all the trappings and done up right and there were more raised eyebrows than whispers behind my back and I much prefer a raised eyebrow over the loser tag. Sometimes I even go for the raised eyebrow. But a good time was had by all and I had dusted off my professional demeanor and wore it as well as she did her new dress and refrained from well placed pats on her ass while walking down the reception line or on the dance floor. Later, we talked over drinks after leaving the reception, and as you would expect, the conversation quickly turned to the demise of her long lasting, nearly as long miserable, union to the prick of the year candidate (I'm a former winner and my face is on the trophy) and I listened empathetically, nodded in the right places, offered advice where I thought I might have some, and reluctantly and with restraint and a gentle approach not typical of me accepted her invitation to her bed.

She is attractive, intelligent, walks upright, is a more than willing participant in sexual exploration, and is wounded, obsessing on the break up of a long marriage, and the worst thing she could do would be to latch onto someone before she introduces herself back to the world and suffers some of the same miseries the rest of us do out here floundering about. I have seen her twice since and I make sure she understands where I stand and where I think she should stand and it would be easy, very easy, to fall into something with her but it would not be the right thing to do and falling into something with me makes it double jeopardy because I would stay here with you and she needs another philandering man like she needs unwanted hair growth or a bladder control problem.

So there you have it in total. My hiatus from active singledom essentially continues and I'm still surprised at how little it bothers me. But then I have you. And I don't talk about you here because I just don't do that but if you have questions and wish to challenge my totally honest approach you can email me at whatthefuckareyouuptonowedge@wahoo.com.

Just sayin'.