Another Saturday night

and it's snowing again....three weekends in a row with a lot of rain mixed in there. Water, so much is about water in all its forms. Over a hundred pounds of my body weight is water, even blood is glorified water. Water takes the path of least resistance in its journey oceanward. Too much of it is not good, too little is even worse. It giveth and it taketh away. So, another snowy Saturday night and maybe that's just the excuse I need to stay in and not feel any restlessness about venturing out and partaking in Saturday night activities. I can shower for myself right? And treat myself to some prime red beef and a bottle of wine. I can choose my lighting, light my fire, pick something haunting to listen to, something bluesy and heartfelt. I haven't felt particularly creative lately, perhaps it's a little bit of life burnout, but I'm content, happy, nonetheless. No one will show up at my door, I can lock myself in here and be good company to myself without external stimuli. I have a lot of stored stimulation and it might be a good night to let some of it seep and ooze to the surface. I have reason to embrace ectasy and I'm surrounded by people of grace and power and sensitivity. How did I find such good ones, huh? How did I do that? Where did you all come from? You weren't there six months ago. You were there, you just weren't here. What would I have been doing on a Saturday night six months ago. Trying harder I think. Trying to do Saturday night things, maybe forcing it a little. I wasn't unhappy, not at all. A life less full? Most certainly. Since I started this I've turned aside a couple of opportunities, chances to be a part of someone, have them be a part of me. I may have even come close, at least once. But you know what? Neither of them would have had interesting blogs and even if they had one I wouldn't read it. That has nothing to do with blogs does it? It's about depth and some quality that defies description but you know it when you experience it and it's about someone who radiates within you and who is there the way you want them to be first thing every morning and you link to them and the link is permanent and there they are, constant, just there. blessedly there. Damn, I'm even reading what guys have to say. They have to be really good though, for me to go there and the ones I go to are amazing. God, I said that outloud didn't I. Just this week, Brian, Whitey, and Rick have blown me away with power. Are there three men any different than these three? I can only imagine sitting around a table with them shooting the shit and tossing a few back. We would fucking rock I tell you that, we would rule the room. Just like you would, rock and rule. Go on, give it a shot, imagine some combinations sitting in the corner of your favorite bar together. Food for fantasy. A fantasy buffet for gods sake. Am I making too much of this? Picking my escape from life out there and hunkering down where it's all safe and supportive? I know I do go on about this phenomenon. Whitey said his blog has changed his life and he wouldn't know conforming if it smacked him in his bass playin ass. Some of you even turn in a change of address when you get found out like you moved across town or had to get an unlisted number. I'm going to meet people this year, I am, that's a fact, pure and simple. It might be you, or you, or that fantasy group over there in the corner that I won't name because I don't want to leave anyone out. I know where I'm going to start. I see references to blogexplosion, people who want to grow their readership by leaps and bounds. I am not tempted. I want what I've got. Newcomers welcome but I prefer that you came here because of a link to someone I hold dear. Fuck popularity, we're the cool kids. Hey, it aint all good, you read stuff that sucks, hurts, makes you go down with that person. It's not because it's some fluffy soft landing, it aint that. It is hot though isn't it? Come on, fess up, way too much of your sex life is here.........I see ya looking away like it aint you. But it is isn't it? I think this experience just raises standards for what we'll accept out there in the world. See above, I could be with someone tonight, I could. I chose to be alone with you.

At the risk of repeating myself, here's to those of you who've made my Saturday night.