This is exactly what I was waiting for

Is it different where you are today? It is here. It helps that it's over 60 degrees but that's not all of it. It's breezy, really breezy, not brutal windy like it was earlier this week. And the light is different every day. Each evening I see new shadows from the changing angle of the setting sun. New places highlighted. My tiny creek smells and looks different. It might be ditch like but it's mine and it is its own ecosystem and there is a menagerie of animal life out my back door. Yesterday I watched one squirrel chasing another frantically. The chasee was daring, scrambling and leaping, sometimes bending thin branches and then at the last minute jumping to another tree with the apparent alpha squirrel in rabid pursuit. It had a playful sexual bent to it but then it could have just been a case of stolen nuts or some other egregious squirrel behavior. But I'm going to believe it was a courtship and that there was eventual consumation and some post coital chittering. Little bastards are fast. I'm hoping to see some squirrel fornication, I've seen birds and butterflies and several other species to include homo sapien, but never squirrels. I'm thinkin' they do it doggy style. You think dogs notice how many species copy their sexual style? No one ever says horse style. You ever wonder if any other species but man (woman) have sex face to face? Do centipedes spread their legs? Do animals have relationship issues? A few species allegedly mate for life. You think they look around? They all breed for life or are there rogue swans or whoever does this life mate thing that whore around on their significant others? If other members of the animal kingdom don't do it face to face that means they never make eye contact. I think they're missing out there. I know animals play hard to get; it's incredible what the male has to go through sometimes to get the attention of the female. Head butting and prancing and preening and circling only to be rebuffed time and time again until she decides who the worthy one is. The losers often left in bloody heaps, to slink away and look for that wildebeast that looks really good after chewing on some hemlock leaves or boisenberries or whatever inebriation is available. Let's face it, there are some really ugly shrews out there who don't merit all the horn tangling and bloodletting and surely they end up with the weaker males of lesser pulchritude. But every so often the tramp jumps the fence and has his way with the princess showdog which proves this bad boy thing is species wide.

I've heard people swear their pets are gay, dogs and cats especially. What about the rest? Gay snakes hiss with a lisp? Do animals have threesomes? Ever noticed cats will watch you but your dog couldn't care less? We can think we're at the top of the sex food chain but you ever had a dog in heat in a fenced yard? How bout a cat in heat........anything else sound like that? Intensity huh? Most human fence jumpin' happens on the escape when the husband comes home unexpectedly. I wanna watch snakes fuck come to think of it. I think it would be......undulating and slithery. Even the female snake is rather........phallic. Elephants, now there is some power fucking.

But personally, this is just me, my favorite, mountain lion sex. I'm a springy leaping powerful cougar I'm gonna fuck everything that moves. I will mount pinyon pines and porcupines and sage and junipers and whose gonna stop me? I will fuck a cactus just to prove I can.

Cept for that lisping snake.

I get like this every spring.