Daydreamin' Boy
Something about this weather makes me want to live forever, maybe it's the forever blue sky or the forever golden light or the reds and yellows replacing the greens or it could be the crystalline clean crisp coolness of the breezy air. Or maybe I always want to live forever but I was just more aware of it this weekend. At what age did you realize that, hey, fuck, I'm really not going to live forever, damn, fuck......I'm just like everyone else...fuck fuck fuck........I thought sure I was the one who was above that expiration date shit? I think it comes gradually, not like you wake up one morning and go, goddamnit, I'm going to die someday. But didn't you think it was all N/A to you there for awhile? I did. Do you think that the feeling comes from the realization of how special life is? You're this kid and it's all just so overwhelming and wonderful and good and every day is new and different, even when it's the same, and you think, darn (cause you're a kid you know), this is so very cool and special, how could it ever end? I'm special, I feel it. Isn't that how it felt?
That's why I hate and mourn, grieve and weep for those who had that stolen from them. You steal that feeling of immortality, the overwhelming feeling of living and being, you take that from a kid........you should get the death penalty, not life without emotional or physical parole.....capitalfucking punishment.....death by lethal smashing your worthless piece of shit head in.
Sorry, not sure where that came from.
But it was a weekend like that, sights, colors, sounds, smells, deja vu view but new. The blue of the sky and the clarity of the light and the evening smell of woodsmoke which reminds me, you ever smell mesquite or juniper burning? You should. Preferably next to a river deeper than your comprehension with a sky that reaches out endlessly and red walls that climb farther than your imagination. That licking curling fire and cool sand for your toes and stars to wish upon and a precious love to tuck and surround and sleeping bag zip together so there is no escape from the bodylength pressing and the middle of the night velvet sliding and breathy sighs and gasps that dance down the river like skipping dragon flies but with echos bouncing off soaring walls.
Sometimes I'm that kid again, cruising around in my 60 chevy, the red one with three on the column and the six banger under the hood and the baby moons and the reverb on my radio listening to the Lovin' Spoonful sing What a Day for a Daydream..........what a day for a daydreamin' boy..........and I think I'm going to live forever.
That's why I hate and mourn, grieve and weep for those who had that stolen from them. You steal that feeling of immortality, the overwhelming feeling of living and being, you take that from a kid........you should get the death penalty, not life without emotional or physical parole.....capitalfucking punishment.....death by lethal smashing your worthless piece of shit head in.
Sorry, not sure where that came from.
But it was a weekend like that, sights, colors, sounds, smells, deja vu view but new. The blue of the sky and the clarity of the light and the evening smell of woodsmoke which reminds me, you ever smell mesquite or juniper burning? You should. Preferably next to a river deeper than your comprehension with a sky that reaches out endlessly and red walls that climb farther than your imagination. That licking curling fire and cool sand for your toes and stars to wish upon and a precious love to tuck and surround and sleeping bag zip together so there is no escape from the bodylength pressing and the middle of the night velvet sliding and breathy sighs and gasps that dance down the river like skipping dragon flies but with echos bouncing off soaring walls.
Sometimes I'm that kid again, cruising around in my 60 chevy, the red one with three on the column and the six banger under the hood and the baby moons and the reverb on my radio listening to the Lovin' Spoonful sing What a Day for a Daydream..........what a day for a daydreamin' boy..........and I think I'm going to live forever.
posted by Edge | 8:13 AM
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